Why I’m Not Big On Making New Year’s Resolutions

Jacket – H&M (also love this rose colored parka that’s on sale!) | Tee – GAP | Jeans – AG Jeans | Boots – Sam Edelman (old but similar here and here) | Beanie – Urban Outfitters (sold out but similar here and here) | Sunglasses – Fendi (similar here)

I know we are already more than 3 weeks into January, but someone asked me recently about my New Year’s resolutions and I mentioned that I typically don’t make any. And that isn’t because I don’t want to improve myself or my life, but rather it has always seemed too daunting of a task. Setting goals for an entire year? 365 days??! For me that is way too big of a time span to focus on. So many things can happen in a year which are unavoidable, unexpected and can change the course of your life forever. Because of that, I have always preferred to stick to more immediate goals or rather intentions for my current and present life. Obviously the targets that I set for the short term are still related to my hope for a long term life change, but short time frames give me more success right now. And I like to think that I can restart or hit recharge on my life and it’s trajectory any day and give myself a feeling of starting over. And because of that, it helps me be more successful on what I want to accomplish. 

Here’s a few of my current intentions or goals that I am working towards right now:

1. Being less anxious – I’ve spoken about this a bit here and there on my blog, but I am quite an anxious person. And unfortunately that anxiety is often more detrimental rather than motivating. I liken it to a roller coaster that is going up a big steep incline. I am working on not letting my anxiety get to the top because once it does, just the like roller coaster it tends to build speed rather quickly and create a feeling of being out of control. This intention is something I focus on daily, sometimes even hourly reciting to myself “it doesn’t serve you to get anxious over this and will only cause you to be upset”. The image of the roller coaster has really helped me and I imagine myself reversing that roller coaster back to the bottom which has been a great tool for calming me down.

2. Being more present/increase my meditation practice – This is also a daily sometimes even hourly struggle, but one that I try to approach one situation at a time. It’s unrealistic for me to be present for every single thing because life will always throw curveballs that create huge distractions. However, one small practice I have been working on is meditating. Though I have been practicing yoga on and off for years, I still struggle with calming my mind. My mom suggested that I try to meditate (or calm my mind) for 3-5 minutes in the shower each morning. I have actually found this to be the best time because a). I have to take a shower daily b). it’s at the start of my day and c). I can use the feeling of the water to help me refocus. Rather than trying to clear my mind (sometimes that seems nearly impossible), I focus on the feeling of the water hitting my body as a way to push out other thoughts. So far, it is been helpful and I do notice a difference on the days that I do it. I have also downloaded the Headspace app as I have heard it is a great tool to help with meditation.

3. Become more of a morning person – I have always struggled with getting up early, mainly because I am a restless sleeper. So while I do get up earlier with Miles now, I still wake up feeling groggy, out of it and very grumpy. Currently Miles is doing great on his sleep schedule (we have found great success with this book), and is down for 12 hours a night (which I know can change at any time so we just try to go with the flow as best we can) which allows me to get the proper rest I need. However, I still find myself having a hard time getting to sleep, having restful sleep and waking feeling recharged and energized. For now, my goal is simply to wake up at the same time every morning and start there. I’m not sure the next step after that but once I accomplish this goal, I can then set my sights on the next step in helping my sleep patterns.

4. Increasing my workouts and focusing on building strength – Obviously I want to lose the rest of the baby weight and look better in clothes, that is not something I will deny. However I used to feel so strong years ago when I was exercising regularly and I miss that. Because of my chronic pain issues and the two spine surgeries I have had over the past 7 years, I began to feel very fragile and vulnerable. Feeling weak, exhausted or frail is a difficult thing, and one that I never thought I would face so early on in my life. My goal is to build muscle, endurance and stamina in order to feel more comfortable doing such things as getting the stroller out of the trunk of my car without needing help. Even picking Miles up some days tires me out or causes my neck pain to flare up intensely. I want to work on building back my strength and endurance not only to keep up with Miles as he grows, but also for myself to feel strong in my own body. That is a very empowering feeling.

As you can see, my current list of intentions/goals is not very long but very targeted and measurable. For me, only focusing on a few things (sometimes only one thing) allows me to feel less overwhelmed and more accomplished on a daily basis.  

I would love to hear what current intentions you have set for yourself or what goals you are working towards right now? Do you have success with New Year’s resolutions and if so, how do keep them and stay motivated? Please share any tips you have!